At the Heart of Katy Nicole: lesson learned.

A year into this mama journey I must share one of the most valuable lessons I have learned. It's regarding my sweet husband of course...isn't it always?! I guess that's the beauty of marriage... we are constantly learning and realigning ourselves in whatever area is calling for our attention and modification. It's a great thing. Something I never want to lose sight of.

When Greyson arrived I was madly in love with him. Instantly. I had wanted to be a mom my entire life and in a way I felt like my life had really begun the second that little Grey bundle was placed in my arms. I wanted to greet him with, "Fiiiinaaaally.. didn't you know that I have been waiting for you for like FOREVER?" Wrongly, I assumed that Jay would have the exact same response to our new little babe. I expected him to father the same way that I mothered. I expected him to react to him the same way that I did. And when my expectations were not met I became discouraged and felt completely let down.

As time went on I quickly realized that I needed to give my husband grace and allow him

to adjust to this new role at Jay speed not Katy speed. And before I knew it... the man just took off and blew me away once again with his love and goodness. My first inclination that Jay was getting more comfortable and confident in his daddy shoes was when he started arguing with me over whose turn it was to hold Greyson... actually we still do this :). Especially on Sundays. We race each other out of the car and fight over who gets to carry him into church (Jay wins because I let him and he body blocks me from the car door).

I can honestly say that Jay has surpassed all of what I had hoped he would be. I have learned that my expectations could never compare to the fatherly design God has placed in his heart. It has been an amazing thing. I just needed to back off and allow him to figure out this incredibly new and foreign role of his. I needed to let the airplane rides and snuggle attacks and outside adventures take place. And allow him to father while I kept to my business in the mama realm :).